Chaplain Lynne writes:

Here I am, Send Me

As I stepped into the room to which I had been sent, I immediately felt the rawness of the emotion.  Two nurses stood to the left of the bed, huddled together, whispering to each other as they cleared the counter of used medical supplies.  In the hospital bed before me, was the body of the young man, 20 years of age, face exposed among twisted bedding, looking more peaceful than I expected. His body remained, but his spirit of life was gone.

I heard a sobbing, whimpering noise and turned towards it.  Hidden back behind the bedside table, curled into a ball on the floor, was the figure of a woman. The young man’s fiancée. Her hands covered her ears. Her eyes, panicked, met mine.
She obviously was in a crisis state.

The “paralysis of initiation” in trauma survivors, stems from the brain’s survival adaptations, which prioritize immediate safety over rational behavior, even reverting to sometimes childlike behavior.  Loss and the resulting grief are crisis and trauma inducing. Additionally, trauma disrupts a sense of time and agency, leaving survivors stuck or disconnected from their ability to influence or identify next steps.

Recovery focus involves creating safety, allowing for reconnecting the brain with the body, and taking small, manageable actions to rebuild confidence and a sense of agency, helping survivors move from survival to next steps.

I nodded to the nurses, who silently left the room. Then as I prayed internally, I chose to simply sit in the chair next to the bed.  I was between her and the door opening that led to a noisy, busy hall. I was in her line of sight, but not too close to create more stress. I allowed her to lead me in how to support her.

She knew me. We had talked before. This previous connection was helpful to our interaction. Silently, patiently, with purposeful intent, I waited with her. Her grief was palpable and audible. Her trauma induced fear state, evident.

Soon, her sobs became calmer. Then she shifted her body, turning towards me.  She began speaking, asking questions, searching for her meaning.

I listened; I murmured understanding;  I held her pain with respect.  I had no great words of wisdom or healing, only purposeful quiet listening and compassionate attention.

Eventually she was sitting cross-legged, next to my chair, looking towards the bed, seeing the peacefulness on his face.  As she processed the grief, she began acknowledging her pain, but now, in safety, looking to her next steps.

My role… ?

Knowing my purpose.  Being Present — With Peace  — With Compassion,
And loving attentive silence.

Chaplains stand in the gap with the hurting, for God.  It is a choice made.  Not always an easy choice.  Sometimes it takes warriors’ hearts to courageously hear the pain. It requires self control to sit patiently with compassionate and empathetic hearts as we serve.

Consistent intentionality…  Preemptive thoughtfulness…
Quiet listening…  Presence as action,
Without judgement or prejudice.

We must create a safe place for the hurting to move forward in their pain on their own terms.  This means we need to abide in a peaceful place in our hearts as well.

Using our experiences and relationship with our faith foundation, we example that peace to those in crisis.   Just like a shepherd who guides his sheep, God faithfully leads us through life’s ups and downs.  Yet there is more than just leading…  He sits with us .

No matter what we face, we can rest in His presence, knowing He’s always there, providing and protecting.  We should seek to give that gift to those we serve as well.

Here I am…  send me!  That takes planned intent and courage. That takes resting in your Hope!

Isaiah 6:8 KJV
Also I heard the voice of the Lord
Whom shall I send and who will go for us?
Then said I
“Here am I, send me”

Blessings, Chaplain Lynne

“to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God…” ~ Ephesians 3:19 NKJV